One time in CO you sent me a keith green song. I wanted to send you this one- I thought that you might treat it as me arguing with you instead of trying to communicate how I was feeling.
But it was how I was feeling.
These days, I think it would be a different song.
One day a kid who came in for a massage had a tattoo that said,
“A second chance means nothing, if nothing has been learned”
I stared at that tattoo for an hour while I was giving the massage.
Hi [—]! I listened to both your songs. I love you so much, but I just can’t relate to what you’re thinking and experiencing. To me, you seem full of darkness and despair, and it seems that you have chosen it. I can’t comprehend how anyone could say that God is a monster and that they would be proud to go to His hell, when He has done everything to set us free from the curse, but I will continue to stand back and respect your right to reject Him. Like I’ve said before, it’s your life, and you have every right to do with it what you choose, and to believe what you want to believe.
That’s why I sent you the song, The Solid Rock – because if you ever decide you don’t want to live in darkness and despair, you can also choose to leave it behind. I personally believe arguing with a depraved mind that rejects Truth is fruitless, but it makes me sad to think that you might interpret that as me not caring. Until my last breath, I will be here in the background of your life, praying for you.
Father God, please protect Tegan while she struggles this out. Your word says “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling”. You’re a big God, and Your compassion is huge enough to stand by and wait for Tegan to come to the end of her raging self, and to still be there with open arms, offering her Your grace. Thank You Lord, for creating this precious young woman, with all her adorable, delightful ways, and her cute, quirky personality. Father God, I ask You to grant her repentance leading to a knowledge of the Truth, so she can come to her senses and escape the snare of satan who has taken her captive to his will, hurting and discouraging people, deceiving and being deceived, when You created her to be a comforter and an encourager. This is no life for Tegan and I ask You to draw her back into the light with Your kindness. In Jesus name, I ask this of You.
I hope you can dome see Schultz soon. He has doubled in size since we got him, but he is still a fuzzy baby. You will like him! Love, mom
I’m not, Mom. Any new skill takes a while to learn and requires practice to become proficient.
But I no longer have to suck up to a being who ordered multiple genocides by calling it the source of moral perfection.
And I no longer have to publicly accuse myself of being an abomination for having biological impulses that I certainly would have done away with if I could.
And I’m becoming happier and happier.
I could get married, Mom. Do you have any idea what this means to me? I don’t have to sit at a window, holed up with my books, forever, weeping because of my secrets, staring at a life going past me that I can never have.
But as things stand, I could never invite you to the wedding, do you understand?
That I had to leave you behind in order to save my own life is my despair. It’s my only despair.
And don’t fear, oh you of little faith. You are worth many puppies. When I get up the courage to come, it’s to see you.
Tegan, I really am very, very sorry you feel that way about God, and although I disagree with you, I won’t argue with you. It will take His own Spirit to convince you that you have believed a lie about Him, so I will leave it to Him.
I’ve tried to put myself in your shoes, to see things from your point of view, and I simply can’t. To me, knowing God is “the pearl of great price”; the treasure that’s worth giving up everything else for, even including giving ones’ life. Especially now, after what Dad and I went through, I see that nothing we give up in this life is worthy to be compared with living in His presence. Even lust – just not worth it. I can’t comprehend your hatred of Him or your desire to see Him as malevolent. But that you would have to leave me behind in order to pursue lust, now THAT I understand. But it’s your choice.
I wish you all the happiness your life has to offer, while realizing very sadly that when you reject your Creator’s provision for atonement, this life is the closest thing to heaven you will ever experience. Without a doubt, you’ve made a bad trade, but God Himself gives you that choice, so who am I to selfishly demand that you fake it to make me comfortable? I love you dearly, my beautiful daughter, Mom
“but God Himself gives you that choice”
Nope. Actually not.
There is no possible amount of argument that make genocide not a crime- of ultimate proportion.
If there was- you would be able to argue. And you can’t.
The demand for truth and righteousness require that God (or possibly the Bible) be discarded.
“..to convince you that you have believed a lie about Him”
Magical feelings don’t turn faulty logic and the lack of ethics into sound logic and the presence of ethics.
“But that you would have to leave me behind in order to pursue lust, now THAT I understand”
Yeah you do. It’s in the Bible.
Genesis 2:24New International Version (NIV)
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Matthew 19:5New International Version (NIV)
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
Mark 10:7New International Version (NIV)
7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
Ephesians 5:31New International Version (NIV)
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
If that DOESN’T involve lust, they’re doing it wrong. Because they’re sure as heck not becoming one flesh with out that.
Finally; re: heaven.
Given the hideous lack of morality displayed by the deity described in the Bible, how do you know that Christianity isn’t a trap of the devil allowed by God to sift the wheat from the tares- and that the only people who ARE going to heaven are the ones who reject it?
TO BE CONTINUED