I don’t think she’ll want me.
when she finds
my goddamn skull is a cave of Aladdin horrors and she
although she brightened while we met and left.
It was hard
when I was trapped in
a world I couldn’t fit.
Knowing I am the trap
I can’t get out of
crumble smooth plaster. Unveil
the tomb. breath into bones.
Resurrectionist anarchy bleaches the land into color.
Don’t leave one single dead
The more one acts like all opponents are harmless or misguided, the more scope abusers have to gain ground while you’re not looking.
“peace in our time”
The more one acts as if their victory is inevitable, or that conceding things will make them treat you well, the more ground one cedes before things become so unbearable that one must turn and fight, whether victory is possible or not. Or just give up and die.
“arbeit macht frei”
The more one hides- emotionally or literally- out of fear of an enemy who threatens or out of fear of fighting, the more horrible the fight is going to be and the more horrifying the enemy is going to be. And the more horrifying you are going to become in the process.
If you want to fight as morally as possible, fight as soon as possible.
“Now I have become death, the destroyer of worlds.”
Humans are emotional machines with an attached function of intellect. There are certain circumstances in which the function of intellect will engage. There are many more in which it will not. Emotions utilize the intellect- they rarely are guided by it.
The emotional drives are more powerful than self interest. Watch who engages people’s emotions-and how- and to what end. And watch how, by whom, and by what your emotions are engaged.
“All things are known because we want to believe in them.”
Nothing known or believed or wished changes what is.
Fight in the world as it is. Fight for the world as you wish it to be.
There is no destination except the one you yourself make.
This year. Could it be rewound? Be kind, please rewind?
A friend has died. Last I heard they didn’t know why or how. He was in good health.
He was brilliant. When he was optimistic he was one of the most optimistic people I knew.
I used to.
I used to, if I had a really good idea, write it to him. Cause I thought that if I didn’t make it he would. We had talked about the things that are now, about the tree and the serpent, the winter and the fire.
This can’t be real.
This is real.
god. what is this?
I am the one to do the things now. I have remember- myself. I don’t have the luxury of failing. There is no one else.
oh god. this is not how it was supposed to be.